your ceremony

My aim is to ensure that you have the ceremony you feel best represents your loved one, and to achieve this in a supportive, compassionate, and respectful way. You may already know what you and your family want, or you may not have had the time or any previous thoughts about a funeral ceremony. You may feel comfortable having to face this task or you may find it extremely upsetting and overwhelming. Whatever your situation I assure you that I will work with you and those you choose to ensure the ceremony is a fitting one and that I will make the process as smooth as possible.

initial contact

You or your Funeral Director will contact me and provide some brief information about your loss and what you require. This will usually include basic information about who has passed away, and where and when the ceremony will take place. I will then make contact directly with you by phone to introduce myself.  We will arrange to meet as soon as possible either in person or online if required. You will be the main person I will link with.

meeting, consulting and planning

This meeting, which can take up to two hours, is devoted to designing and planning the ceremony. You may wish to have another person or family member with you in this meeting. However, as the client you will be the main person I will link with and agree the final ceremony plan with.

During this meeting I will spend time talking with you in depth about your loved one/family member/friend and together we will begin to build the ceremony. This is to create an understanding of the person and to ensure they are truly represented in the ceremony.

As part of the consultation I will discuss the details of what you would like to include and how it will be structured. While I provide a wide selection of readings, poems and suggestions about music where required, I encourage families to consider any particular symbols of the person’s life, favourite music, readings and or poems they would like to include. We will also consider the type of eulogy you want for your loved one.  While families/friends often want to prepare and deliver this, it can be a stressful demand in a difficult time. I am happy to work with them to prepare the eulogy and also prepare a ‘back up’ just in case the person who intended to deliver it cannot do so on the day.

time

A very important aspect we will need to discuss is the time available for the ceremony. The Funeral Director will advise the day, time, location, and duration of the Funeral ceremony. Generally, the time frame in Crematoria is approximately 30 minutes from arrival meaning the actual ceremony is about 20 mins in length. If a longer time frame is required, this will be discussed with the Funeral Director. Graveside or ceremonies held in a funeral home may be longer. When preparing the ceremony, we will need to consider the actual time available as this will affect the amount of material and people to be involved. If everything and or everybody you would like included cannot be accommodated in the ceremony, we can discuss other ways that you can achieve this.

preparation

When we have agreed what you want to include, I will take the information away and prepare the full ceremony including the eulogy. I will prepare a written draft which will include readings and poems in full.  If you would like to include a favourite photograph of your loved one or another image on the front of the ceremony document, I can incorporate that.

approval of ceremony

It is very important that you are happy with and approve the ceremony prior to it being delivered. I will forward the draft ceremony to you usually the day after our meeting by e-mail and I will phone you to let you know I have done so.  I will then call you later that day to see if you wish to make any changes, to add or take anything out. Once approved I will finalise and bring it to the funeral location on the day along with a copy for you.

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